Systemic Family Constellations
To fully grasp the meaning of this work, it is really important to take a Systemic perspective.
In fact, there are different methods and different types of constellations, each with its own specificity, there are Family, Spiritual, Business, Shamanic and many others.
In any case, when we hear the term Constellation we always refer to a System and a Systemic approach.
What does it mean?
It is a real way of looking at life,
in which the individual is never taken as a single or isolated element
but as a part of a certain context of relationships, a System.
Each of us in fact belong to more than one system.
We belong to the system of the country where we were born,
to that of the country where we live,
we become part of all the groups to which we choose to belong,
with which we share a belief and common values.
( A good example are religions )
However, without a doubt, the system that most influences who we are and our lives is our Family System (the one we come from, mom, dad, brothers, sisters, grandparents, etc.).
Our Family System of Origin literally defines who we are,
This happens physically, in fact from our ancestors we inherit somatic traits, features, peculiarities of the physical body and this is written
in our DNA, defined genetic code, memories.
In the same way we inherit beliefs, emotions, sometimes even the fate of someone we probably never even knew.
To understand what a System is and how it works we will use a simple and extremely effective example: our human body.
Our body is made of different parts, called organs (heart, lungs, kidneys, stomach, etc.) each of which occupies ONE SPECIFIC PLACE and FOLLOWS A UNIQUE FUNCTION, has its own task.
These organs are part of a larger system: our body,
a larger organism that lives through them.
All the parts of our body are closely connected.
If two of them exchange places, or if one of these organs is excluded from the group,
all the others are effected,
the larger organism is effected, this effects the System itself.
That's how a system works, including the family system,
in which all the members are vitally important, are deeply connected and linked to each other and from which no one can be excluded.
Family constellations are an effective tool that allows us to face, understand, integrate and heal different aspects of our lives.
They can be applied to all aspects of existence, from disharmony in relationships to health issues, from career to the resolution of practical issues.
They are very useful in undestanding those issues that come back cyclically, that reoccur despite all the work we do, in breacking unuseful patterns.
The constellations allow us to unravel the hidden causes of a situation,
they allow us to become aware of the dynamics guarded in the unconscious allowing us to discover, bring to light and dissolve "unresolved" families issues and traumas that are transmitted from generation to generation and that are the cause of self-limiting dynamics on many levels.
Constellations are an experiential method, a real experience to live,
that allows to welcome and integrate information on the unconscious dynamics that regulate the relationships between the members of a group, with particular attention to the Family of origin.
Family Constellations are the result of the experience and great work of Bert Hellinger
( 16/12/1925 - 19/09/2019 ).
He was a brilliant man, a psychologist, therapist, a courageous pioneer capable of a unique and great vision.
Hellinger's life was quite intense, during an 18-year 'stay' in Africa he lived with a tribe called Zulu: the People of the Stars (literally translated).
Observing how this community faced and resolved issues and conflicts, he realized that the tribe, the group, was seen, always observed as one big system.
A system in which everyone had their own role, a specific place and in which the ancestors were always seen as active members, even if they were dead.
So it was that Hellinger hooked a new way of looking at Life.
Later, as only he could do, he deepened, perfected the method and spread it by creating the Systemic Family Constellations.
During more than 60 years of practice in the world, Bert Hellinger realized that family constellations often entered a new dimension, wider and deeper, where not only the problems of life were solved, but the person regained the deep connection with himself, with life, with his spiritual part, becoming more mature and wise.
In this dimension, guided by the Spirit, one experiences true love, a deep relationship with the other, openness to life, success and personal fulfilment.
The natural evolution of the family constellations met with time a new dimension, spiritual.
Today's spiritual constellations 'touch' the soul, bringing indescribable deep peace and inner joy.
We are the fruit of a great history that establishes who we are long before our birth.
We belong to a complex system commonly referred to as the Family System.
This system is shaped by any kind of more or less dramatic experiences lived by its members,
it is alive and moving, "an entity" with an autonomous consciousness governed by very precise laws, there are three orders of consciousness to which each person and family system respond:
It is that part of us that decides what is good and what is bad according to the values of the group we belong to and has as its sole purpose the survival of the individual in the group.
For this to happen it acts through feelings of guilt and innocence.
It is a narrow consciousness, since it has a limited perception of facts and divides actions and events into good and evil, in an absolute way.
Individual consciousness is directly perceived as joy or pain.
Behind the personal consciousness acts the family collective consciousness, which is the group consciousness. If the personal consciousness is perceived by the individual, the family consciousness is not perceived, it is unconscious.
It serves the survival of the entire group, even if it requires the sacrifice of the individual,
it does not distinguish between good and evil, it is amoral.
At the same time it protects everyone in the same way.
It is above individual consciousness and collective consciousness: according to this consciousness everything is already perfect. It is connected to the Love of the Spirit, a great love that includes everyone, without judgment or criticism, and is the result of a higher order.
It does not make wars of beliefs or ideologies, nor does it fight for its beliefs, it accepts with love.
It acts through the experience that makes this wisdom concrete and practical in everyday life, showing us how harmoniously we live intimately, with our bodies and in our relationships.
The collective consciousness is subject to three orders:
Right of belonging
Law of balance
Law of the sacred order.
Bert Hellinger talks about three fundamental principles present in the family system, the so-called Orders of Love,
RIGHT OF BELONGING
All members of a family have the same rights of belonging.
No one can be excluded.
This means that even those who come:
Forgotten (relatives missing or killed during the war for example)
Removed (as was in the past in the case of abortions or relatives with mental problems)
Adopted (where the ties with the family of origin are cut)
keeps his place in the Family System and this should be recognized.
If this does not happen, one of the descendants will follow who's been excleded and his destiny.
Every member of the System is has a place,
every member of the System feels good in his place.
When a family member is seen and reintegrated into the System,
the whole System becomes lighter and the newcomer can look to the future and to life without carrying burdens and destinies that do not belong to him.
LAW OF BALANCE
There is a flow of life, which moves in one direction:
from previous generations to the next.
Parents give with love, children receive with gratitude.
The forces that regulate the Family System tend towards balance,
a state of calm and order.
For this to happen it is necessary to respect the rule that sees parents as adults and children as children.Always.
This means understanding and accepting that parents,
because they came before us are older, on an energetic level.
That is why parents can give with love,
without expecting anything in return from their children.
Who s small accepts with gratitude everything that has been given,
or that has not been given.
What they have given us has made us who we are.
Even when the relation is complex , our parents were the best parents we could have.
We thank and honor our Father and Mother by making something
beautiful with our life, by being happy, by taking them with us in joy.
LAW OF THE SACRED ORDER:
He who is born first comes first.
He who is born after comes after.
The descendants are small in front of their ancestors and big in front of their own descendants.
"The time factor defines, together with space, the place we occupy during life: conception, gestation, birth, child, partner, parent, grandfather, death.
In a certain time we occupy a specific position and that is our place in that moment.
It is the place, "non-place", where we can feel better, where our energy is fully expressed and where we can feed ourselves at best".
Time establishes a hierarchy, in a natural way.
Who enters first to be part of a system, has precedence over who arrives later and this gives a structure to the system itself.
Parents enter the system before their children and the firstborn,
whether alive or dead, arrives in the system before his siblings.
Therefore in the family there is a hierarchical order,
according to the time of belonging to it.
The parents come before the children and the firstborn before the second, the first wife comes before the second and so on.
In this way, each member of the family has his or her own place.
The same goes for other groups.
Any attempt to contend with others for their place or to rise above them has very serious consequences.
Moreover, we are born into a Family System,
we are part of a large group with which we share values and beliefs.
We move in our System with the great desire to belong, to be accepted, loved, respecting the rules of the System itself.
Respect for the rules shared with the other members of the group gives us a feeling of "Innocence".
When, on the other hand, the shared rules are not honored,
the family conscience immediately signals an uneasiness that will be expressed with a feeling of "Guilt".
Our love is limited by our feelings of innocence and guilt.
We perceive innocence as a good conscience.
It is therefore, our good conscience that limits our love",
often those who feel innocent do not live their destiny.
Wanting to feel innocent towards our Ancestors may in some cases,
lead us to relive their destinies, may lead us to want to "carry their burdens" or not allow ourselves to receive more from life than they themselves have received.
We feel innocent when we move in accordance with the values of the group, a sense of belonging and innocence are closely linked.
The Morphogenetic Field or the Network
Rupert Sheldrake, British biologist developed the theory of morphogenetic fields, from morphogenesis, that is the birth of form.
He posed the problem of predicting the behavior of a system, an organism composed of several parts, based on the behavior of its individual elements.
So he identified the presence of an invisible force present in the system not identified with one of its components, but with the system itself.
Sheldrake came to the conclusion that living organisms are organized through an intelligent field: the morphic or morphogenetic field.
Each "morphic field" is responsible for the organization, structure and form of the system, has its own memory, determined by the contribution of each member.
Each individual belonging to a species draws on the collective memory of the species and attunes to its past members, contributing to the further development of the species.
Each of us is connected to the morphic field of the planet, of the human species, of the territorial population, of our national identity, up to the morphic field of our family of origin.
The morphic fields of all species have a history, and contain implicit memories given by a process called: morphic resonance.
Morphic resonance operates through space and time,
from past to present.
Through morphic resonance, each member of a species receives and at the same time contributes to the collective memory of the species.
In this deep network of connection in which we are in resonance with one another, every memory remains, both of the living and the dead.
The theory of the systemic constellations is based on the idea that the morphic field is in resonance with the collective unconscious of the System, with the consciousness of the Family System.
The dead cannot be excluded from the System and working in a group we can observe that any attempt to exclude a member, is perceived by the field entering a state of anxiety, until the excluded person is recognized and put in their place.
During the systemic representation in the circle the morphogenetic field of the client is reproduced.
Those who represent, without knowing anything about the people they are representing, will perceive the emotions, feelings and relationships of the people represented, even remaining completely unaware of the real family dynamics, but simply because they enter into connection with the consciousness of the system.
This is what happens for a family system: each member moves according to the energetic quality of the morphogenetic field.
They belong to, a field that repeats itself, just as family destinies are repeated.
In the family system the single member is "entangled "* with the other components of the system and this appears in all its evidence during the staging of a systemic work.
* entanglement: A fundamental link between particles that make up a quantum system.
In the circle all the representatives are in resonance with each other, perceiving the common morphic field.
Every movement that manifests itself in a representative involves changes also for the other representatives and so it happens also for the people who have been the object of the representation.
A systemic work can allow to interrupt the repetition of destinies, favoring a new movement, a creative movement.
In fact, each family member is closely connected to the other members of the family, so much that any change that occurs in one of the members inevitably affects the other members of the system/family and/or the system/company or social group.
We are moved by an intelligent, immense consciousness, which includes everything and everything connects.
A Spiritual force that walks beyond judgment, towards the awareness that everything follows a perfect order.
Why should I do this?
Is clear that there are many good reasons why we should have this experience that allows us to move beyond all judgment and beyond space and time.
First of all to undertake a path of deep self-knowledge and awareness that leads us to ourselves, to our realization, happiness.
To approach from a new and different point of view those uncomfortable themes of our life .
To understand the unconscious stimuli that push us to make certain choices.
To understand the profound message that our soul is sending us through a symptom or illness.
To activate important processes of personal and family healing.
To restore order so that love can flow freely.
For the descendants
and... to honor our Ancestors.
From our Ancestors Life comes to us. Life is The greatest of gifts, we cannot return such a great gift, but we can honor them, honoring life.
By realizing our happiness we honor our Ancestors.
We are their dream come true!